So, I am finally back! I've been back from my Christmas vacation awhile ago but I just intentionally put my blog in the back burner for all these weeks. While I had decided to have a blog and made a duty to keep it regularly up to date, all these time I just didn't want to write. But not for the lack of not having anything to write, or because I was lazy or much less because I was busy... no, I was just mentally stuck and couldn't write my thoughts or feelings. I had it in the back of my head all along, but just kept shushing that little voice over and over again. I think I was just homesick, and missing my family and the warmth of my island and maybe it was this sadness that made me feel numb and nostalgic. I had such a great time there, and the fact that I spent some quality time with my parents, specially my dad really gives me great satisfaction. I also spent a lot of time with my hubby, it was the longest I've ever been with Irvin without any interruption... 24/7 together, and we made it :).
Well, back to reality... and back to lab. I was having the most unpleasant experience in lab after coming back. I was depressed, unmotivated and very negative about everything science-related. It was like academically I had hit a wall. I don't know what happened, but all the fears and insecurities came back with the new year... maybe the fact that I was about to give my yearly "progress" seminar and a committee meeting had something to do with all this. I hope it goes well, cuz I really feel worried about the outcome of all this. I tried to have a positive attitude and thinking, but it is a really hard thing to do when you have been negative your whole life. And most, specially since my thesis project is not that promising anymore. We'll see how it goes. I will most likely write about how it went...
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